daniel larusso (
miyagimagic) wrote in
deercountry2023-02-06 07:48 pm
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(closed) february catchall
Who: Ange (
entreats), Chizuru (
tealeafs), Daniel (
miyagimagic) and various others.
What: February shenanigans.
When: During all of February.
Where: Locations vary.
Content Warnings: Nothing right now, specific warnings will be in headers when they come up.
( starters in the comments! if you want to plot anything with me, feel free to either pm the journal or contact me at
queeningsquare, i'm always open to new ideas and threads! )
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What: February shenanigans.
When: During all of February.
Where: Locations vary.
Content Warnings: Nothing right now, specific warnings will be in headers when they come up.
( starters in the comments! if you want to plot anything with me, feel free to either pm the journal or contact me at
no subject
But sometimes, confrontation happens and you don't end up feeling like you want to disappear forever. Sometimes, you don't lose someone who's become precious to you. Peter's tired but not exhausted, not the way he usually is, and he's ultimately glad this all happened, because Robby's certainly someone who's become precious to him. He packs up his bag and shrugs into his coat, ready to head back, when Daniel approaches him and asks to talk.
It does cause a little flutter to dance up under his ribcage, and Peter's definitely looking a bit nervous, but Daniel clearly thought ahead with that, because adding the "it's nothing bad, I promise" does ease some of that kneejerk anxiety. Peter fiddles with the strap of his bag, gives a nod. )
Oh, sure— yeah, no problem. ( He moves back from the door, towards Daniel. He's definitely a little awkward with it, looking like he doesn't know where to go and just kind of glancing from side to side. Peter.... relax... )
no subject
It's why he does his best to keep his body language relaxed here, just to try and show Peter there's truly nothing to worry about. He contemplates asking the other to come sit down again, but that's maybe a little awkward when the other is already wearing his coat, so Daniel just remains there, standing in the hallway.
It's fine. He's pretty sure they won't get interrupted here. ]
I just... hm.
[ Daniel starts, and then pauses for a moment, like even he seems to need a moment to think of the right wording here.
It's thankfully not too long of a pause. ]
I just wanted to say that.. well, I don't know too much about the situation. [ You know. The Situation. Surrounding Johnny's death. ] But ending up corrupted, and having to deal with your actions that happened during those moments.. It must be difficult.
[ It hasn't happened to Daniel himself, sure. (Yet?) But it's not like the man lacks sympathy, or the ability to put himself into another person's shoes. ]
Have you talked to anyone about that ever since it's happened..?
[ You know, other than.. just now with Robby, anyway. ]
no subject
And... really, he does have reason to be angry at Peter. It's obviously clear that he and Robby are very close, and Daniel would be justified in getting upset about things. Peter doesn't expect him to be mean, but maybe he needs to be upset. The thought is distressing, makes him nervous, but he's still staying where he is, tongue running across his lower lip briefly, just an anxious little habit when his mouth feels a bit too dry. He's waiting, eyes a little bit wide at the way Daniel hesitates, like he's not sure how to start.
Then it comes, and Peter's.... startled, blinking. Daniel's not getting onto him but rather... checking on him?
Again, it really shouldn't be surprising, considering how the older man has always been towards him. He'd literally come to his house a few months ago to check on him, bring him food and tea and the karate gi that Peter definitely didn't think he deserved. But he's still surprised all the same, just staring at him for a few moments, before he gives a soft movement of his head. )
Not.... not really. I um. I sort of... tried not to think about it too much.
( There's... a lot more to it, but it's so complicated and.... well, there's so much to it that's not exactly how Daniel thinks. Like the whole Corruption thing.... Peter lifts a hand to his mouth, teeth nervously nipping softly at a nail. Daniel hasn't pushed him against any wall, not at all, but Peter behaves that way regardless. Like some trapped animal, cornered. )
....It's all kind of... There's more to it than what people think. ( He'd told Robby just now, but... Robby knew about the demon already. Daniel doesn't. And Peter doesn't know what to say, doesn't want to tell him some complete lie, but... how? How does he respond?
When he does, it's soft and a little miserable, like he's forcing the words out. Mostly subconsciously, he's taking a step back. )
If people knew the whole truth, they'd... be afraid of me. Even when I'm not Corrupted.
no subject
Daniel can only imagine how murder would weigh on one's soul.
And apparently there's even more to it, judging by what Peter is saying here. Something even the boy himself seems to be afraid of, hesitating, stepping back. ]
Peter, if there's something wrong with you, I'd like to know. [ Daniel tries to get his intonation right here. He doesn't want it to sound like pressure, after all, but more like-- like care. ] That's what I'm your sensei for.
[ A term that in Daniel's mind doesn't just have to do with classes. Not just with teaching karate, but.. more than that. A sensei looks after their students. It's something he's imprinted in his mind after mister Miyagi's example. ]
Sure, if it's something really bad.. [ .. which is probably is, judging by their talk from before, when Peter said he might.. disappear, somehow. ] .. I can't promise that I won't get scared for you.
[ Especially when Daniel is such a fussy worrywart. ]
But I can't imagine any scenario where I would be scared of you. [ Afraid of Peter? A guy who's so skittish and gentle? ] So you can always tell me, if you want to.
no subject
He's been slowly telling more people over time here, too. It's become a necessity, and..... yeah, Daniel should know. He should. As someone who teaches Peter, as someone who's... responsible for other kids. He should know if one of his students is some dangerous, unpredictable thing.
But it's not easy, and Peter's heart is continuing to give uncomfortable, rapid flutters in his chest. He swallows, eyes glancing up to dart to the side. It might look like he's really going to try making a run for it..... but then he sighs. )
I wasn't... Corrupted. When Johnny got— ( His own words catch in his throat, and his head gives an odd little shake, like he can't say it. ) ....Luna was, but not me. I was something... else.
( He pauses, looking miserably back up to Daniel. )
Um. It was— I was possessed. By something...... something that's in me all the time. It took over me, to protect her, and— ( The words come out barely above a whisper. ) —I don't remember anything it did. I never do.
no subject
His eyebrows are knitting together into a frown the more Peter says, but the look in his eyes is so calm that it doesn't seem like anger, only thoughtfulness.
Yes, this topic is.. a lot, and Daniel feels like it's only leading to a lot more, but he just does what mister Miyagi taught him. Just keep breathing. Keep finding balance, especially when he has to be the steady adult for a young person here. ]
I see.
[ It's a slow answer, followed by a nod. At least it changes nothing about his impression of that past situation. It doesn't matter whether Peter was corrupted or this was going on - either way, he wasn't in control of his actions, and that's good enough for Daniel.
But it is still concerning, making the calm look in his eyes take on an edge of that - and he keeps looking at Peter, even if the other might nervously look away), and maybe the tone in his voice even more so when he speaks up again. ]
So.. that has to do with what you told me about before, right? When you said that you couldn't stay yourself back home.
[ It may be a completely ridiculous thing to talk about by his own world's standards, but it sounds like Daniel is taking it entirely seriously in this moment. ]
no subject
But there's still some who... aren't. People who grew up in worlds that didn't involve spooky things that come out at night and things with ancient names chanted in flickering candlelight. And as someone who grew up in a world he thought was ""normal""... Peter relates more to those people. Robby, Daniel: Peter feels aligned with them in some way.
It feels almost like some... betrayal, to people like that especially. Like he's been pretending to be something he's not. He's not able to meet Daniel's eyes, looking pointedly at the floor, feeling sick. When the other finally speaks, Peter's quiet, listening, tense. There's no hint of fear or aversion or even disbelief in the man's tone. Just... asking more about it.
It's that lack of an immediate negative reaction and the sincerity that has Peter finally looking up again, to see the clear concern in the older man's eyes. Even now, it catches him off-guard and he swallows, like there's something lodged in his throat, manages a nod in response. )
There was this cult. They... planned everything. It was all planned. ( It sounds insane to be voicing aloud. His eyes go wide again, a little strange. ) Back in November, when I was... in that cocoon. I saw what happened. I saw them... giving me to him. My body.
....I know it sounds.... crazy. I used to think I was just going crazy. But it's... real. He's real. ( His voice splits a little, like a piece of wood fracturing. And he's wringing his hands, a habit he's picked up from Luna in her moments of upset. Peter's horrifically aware that he probably does look insane, unhinged, right? Standing here talking about demonic possession and losing himself. And being seen like that — crazy — it's a strange fear. One that goes way down deep, one inherited from his mother. Unlike her, it doesn't make him angry. But there's the edge of panic there in his wide gaze as he repeats the words, so tense he feels like a wire about to snap. )
I know it sounds crazy.
no subject
Even though he's just a kid. So young. It doesn't help that Peter's avoidant and scared attitude while talking about this only makes him seem even younger, and that makes Daniel imagine if this sort of thing would have happened to either of his own kids. Peter isn't that much older than Sam, after all. And he's got almost the exact same curls as Anthony.
Thinking about this happening to either of them-- Daniel feels sick. He doesn't know how Peter's parents managed to bear with it. Where were his parents when all of that happened? Couldn't they protect him?
Daniel's stomach is turning inside of his gut, but seeing Peter repeat those words like he's worried drags him back down to Earth a little. ]
.. hey.
[ It's said gently, but with a hint of a call to attention, wanting to drag Peter a little bit out of his own head here. Another thing that Daniel hopes will help with that is the way he reaches out, one hand landing on Peter's shoulder, before Daniel's mother hand joins it on the other shoulder.
He looks directly at the boy, hoping that Peter will look back at him so he can see the sincere look in Daniel's eyes, so he can mean what he says - but even if he doesn't look over, Daniel still speaks. ]
Yes, it does sound crazy. [ No denying that, when this entire story goes against anything and everything in Daniel's own world.. ] But I believe you, Peter. I know you're not lying.
[ That feels like the first reassurance he should throw out here. Especially since the other seems worried that Daniel might not believe, judging by the repetition and all the nerves. ]
You've been through something awful. You don't have to be ashamed of that. And I'll believe anything you'd be alright with telling me.
no subject
And here he is now, feeling like he's going to snap — not in anger, just... upset. His breathing's too shallow, his body a little numb. It's close to how panic always feels in him, and he wants to hide again, feels an awful pinch of doubt in the way he's handling this. He's acting too weird, said everything too quickly, he should've.... done this differently. He's not good at this, he's ruined it—
There's a hand at his shoulder. And then, moments later, another. Peter does look at the man, wide-eyed and breathing a little weird, staring. Two points of pressure on either side, like buffers. Grounding him, holding on. Peter sees him. Hears him.
it does sound crazy
but I believe you
The words startle him. He blinks, looking confused for a moment. And suddenly he's brought back to an odd moment, a memory, one he doesn't want to think about at all but it's there. A night when his mother woke him and his dad up, voice loud and stretched taut, pleading, desperate with them. To take part in something — a séance to contact his dead little sister — it'd seemed... crazy. Absolutely crazy. His dad said so. Wouldn't listen.
Peter did, and looking back he's not sure if he complied so easily because he truly believed his mom in that frenzied moment, or if he just needed to.... give in to her. Calm her down, or try to make her happy. Fueled by his guilt, aching for her to forgive him, knowing she never could.
The kneejerk response in him is that it seems like it can't possibly be true, that someone could think a thing sounds crazy but they believe the person saying it, anyway. But here's Daniel, and he doesn't... look like he's just trying to calm Peter down, or tell him what he needs to hear. Peter's still staring, giving soft, hushed gasps under his breath, before he cuts them off with a swallow. )
Sorry. I'm sorry. It's.... I still don't know what the hell I'm— how to tell people. ( His eyes sweep down again, but he doesn't move away from the man, voice softening. ) Robby knows about it. He... met him, awhile back. He's been helping me with it.
( And with that confession comes the realisation that the other boy didn't tell his secret. Kept it to himself all this time, safe. A fresh wave of guilt washes over Peter for the bullshit that Robby's had to deal with because of him, and the demon, and he winces again. )
There's a lot about it I still don't... understand. Shit like that wasn't supposed to happen, wasn't supposed to be... real. You know? Demons? That's— that's horror movies, what kids dress up like for Halloween. But then I came here and realised.... shit like that's real for so many people. So many worlds. My whole life I just didn't know it was in mine, too.
And it's— he's stronger here. This place, the... energy, magic, whatever you call it, it's making him stronger. Half the time, I'm... not even me.
no subject
Well, that sure is-- It sure is something, alright. Daniel inhales deeply through his nose, forcing himself to not let himself spiral about that thought here, no matter how worrisome the idea is that Robby was just helping out with demonic stuff.. It makes sense, sure, since Daniel knows how kind Robby is, that of course he'd want to help out Peter, but it doesn't make him worry any less.
He forces down the thought though in favour of focusing on the boy who's right in front of him right now. He can talk with Robby about this later - right now it feels important to focus on Peter, especially when he's confessing to all of this being hard for him to talk about.
And who could blame him? How could anyone just.. explain demons? They were supposed to be just as unreal for Daniel as they were for Peter, and yet here they are. ]
For what it's worth.. I had no idea this was going on with you. [ It's not a direct answer to anything Peter is saying here in particular as much as it's a reassurance, he hopes. Despite everything going on with Peter, it's not like he seems.. unnatural. Sure, he's a little more nervous than most people his age, but it's not like that's immediately a supernatural weird thing. ] But I'm glad you let me find out.
[ That you're confiding in me. ]
If this isn't a strange question to ask.. [ No, wait, everything here is probably a strange question to ask.
This entire topic is strange. ]
.. do you know why he comes out when he does? I don't think I've ever seen you being.. different at the dojo.
[ Can someone please hand Daniel a copy of How To Address The Subject Of Demons Delicately Without Hurting A Young Person's Feelings, please? Thanks? He'd sure like that right now, if the way he speaks so carefully to try and avoid hurting the poor guy's feelings is anything to go by. ]
no subject
Speaking to the other's involvement would, should, be worrisome though, and even if Daniel doesn't vocalise those internal worries, Peter feels some of them, maybe forged up from within himself. It all feels like another confession, that Robby's a part of this, and he can't quite swallow down an odd guilt every time someone gets involved.
He'll come back to it — to Robby — but for now, Peter's just desperately hanging onto any response Daniel gives him that isn't outright fear or horror or aversion. It is a quick dose of relief to hear that the man hasn't had any reason to suspect any.... supernatural activity coming from him. Peter's painfully aware he gets very strange, sometimes, but he mostly only sees Daniel during training, and so far Paimon hasn't really seemed to have any reason to come out, then. And when Peter's at practice, he's concentrating, mind focused, part of something more than himself. It helps keep him from the odd effects of possession: the zoning out, the fugue-like confusion. ...The tongue-clucks.
So he's giving a little nod as Daniel asks that question, teeth worrying his lower lip hard enough to make it turn bright red for a moment, before he replies. Even if it hasn't happened yet, he's... worried it might. )
It— there's a lot of things that can make him come out. Sometimes if there's something around he's interested in, or.... doesn't like.
( Like..............Johnny )
Sometimes because of this place, the way it... affects people. ( Another wince, sharp. He's achingly aware that he shouldn't be around people. Right? He shouldn't. Shouldn't have joined Miyagi-do in the first place. What must he seem like? To know about this dangerous fucking thing and join something where there are other people? )
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to— I know I should've told you before. Told everyone. But I.... I thought it could help, being there, working on my mind. Maybe it'd help calm him down. And I think it has, but....
( The fact remains that Peter should've fucking told Daniel before. Warned him. Given him the opportunity to deny having a student that could hurt people, before there was a chance for that to happen. (Little does he know... Daniel has a few Supernaturally Dangerous Students in his brood! Oh no!) )
Shit. I'm sorry. ( Peter reaches up to run a hand over his face, and keeps it there for a moment before lowering it with a shuddery exhale. )
no subject
[ They're less meant to draw attention this time. Instead they're a little softer, like they're mostly just meant to soothe. After all - Daniel sure recognizes a spiralling mind when he sees one, considering how often he does the exact same thing. It's not like he can exactly follow Peter's thoughts, but he has a fairly good idea of at least some of the things crossing the boy's mind that Peter may not fully be putting into words here. ]
It's okay, Peter. Here-- Come on, just a sec.
[ If Peter will allow him, Daniel will gently guide the other out of the hallway and more into the house again. Not towards the living room - Daniel isn't sure if Robby is still there, but he's either there or in his room, and Daniel isn't going to awkwardly make them face each other again in this moment.. so he instead takes the boy along to the kitchen, guiding Peter to sit down on a chair, and then grabbing a glass of water for him next.
Daniel's Omen is also hanging out in the kitchen, lying on the counter like the tiny puppy was just trying to nap, though he lifts his head when Daniel and Peter come in, quietly but curiously watching the duo.
Daniel, in the meantime, puts the glass of water down on the table in front of Peter, before moving to take a seat himself. ]
Listen.. [ Look at him, taking on the most Dad Position here - both hands on the table, folded together, probably even leaning a little towards Peter. ] You have absolutely nothing you have to apologize for. [ A tiny pause, like he's trying to let Peter process that first, before adding: ] Okay? Nothing has happened, so.. as far as I'm considered, no harm, no foul.
[ He tries to keep his tone a little light as he's saying it - to show he truly isn't bothered. Sure, he's a little worried about the demon story, but he's not going to let Peter be the one who has to worry about everyone's safety when he's just a kid. A little older than the others, but still a kid in Daniel's eyes.
The boy has put up with enough already. ]
If anything, I'm just.. really glad you're here with us. Especially if you feel like the techniques you're learning are helping you a little bit already. [ That's what Daniel is teaching them for in the first place, after all - hence the small, but hopefully reassuring smile on his face. ] Being part of Miyagi-do means you're one of us. We all help each other out. Right?
[ Because he's sure Peter would help others out too if they asked him. Daniel has enough faith in what he's seen from the boy so far, knowing that he has a good heart. It's just like how Robby is apparently helping out Peter too - and Daniel knows any of the kids would try to help Peter if they knew about his problem.
They're all good kids. It's why Daniel treasures them so much. And Peter-- he's part of that too. ]
And if you're worried about everyone's safety at the dojo.. You can leave that to me. That's what I'm your sensei for, you know?
[ .. another slight pause.
It's not like Daniel has asked Peter, but he has thought before about where Peter's parents were back home. In all of this. All the fragments of his story, slowly starting to form into a bigger picture.
It would explain something about this. Peter blaming himself over it. Peter not coming to look for help from an adult. What if Peter just.. didn't have that parental support, and therefore doesn't think about it? It's not like it'd be the first time for Daniel to see it, given his tight bond with Robby, and everything he's seen from the boy over time. ]
It's.. alright to seek help from an adult when you need it. To rely on them. [ He knows this is going to sound Weird in case Daniel's guess is wrong, yes, but.. he'd rather be wrong than not have said this at all, he thinks. ] I want you to know I'm here to help you with anything you need. I want to be there for you. [ As an active thing.
Even when it involves.. demons, apparently.. but sometimes a sensei dad just has to evolve to keep up with the demands asked of him, clearly. ]
no subject
Somewhere in him is the thought that it's an ending, too. It must be — certainly an ending of his Miyagi-do membership, but maybe also other things. The ending of a budding relationship with the man. He might not even want Peter hanging around Robby anymore. And maybe these thoughts are a little severe, might seem dramatic or kneejerk, but Peter can't help seeing it that way. Always, the worst, the worst. And really, who could be okay with him being around....? Sure, even Robby decided to keep him as a friend even after finding out about Paimon, but.... it's not the typical outcome, right...? People should be running as far away from him as they possibly can.
Peter sits down, eyes finding the little puppy Omen for a moment, but not even the presence of a dog (or dog-like thing) can make him feel better...... He's staring down at the tabletop with so much gloom it's practically palpable.
And once again, Daniel's words catch him completely by surprise. Peter's pausing, brows knit, confused, stunned, slowly looking up. Daniel's talking like nothing too bad's happened, like he's still going to be a part of the team, even that he'll worry about the safety of everyone.... Peter's mouth parts as he stares at him.
It really isn't often that Peter does lean on an adult, someone older. It's... a concept he still struggles with, even actively flinches back from. He's learned, over time in Deerington and this place, how to a bit more — there are people like K, adults he knows are Safe, can come to with questions or when he needs help — but... it's still such a foreign concept, down at the core.
Being directly told that Daniel is not only there for him, but wants to be there for him, is...... It stuns him. Peter's just staring, staring, and then....
He suddenly lowers his head, arms crossing on the table, face hiding in them. He knows it makes him look, seem, so small, so pathetic and stupid and small, but he couldn't possibly hold himself back.
....Daniel might hear a wet sniffle because, yes, Peter is crying. ....It's not anything new for him. He may physically be the oldest student, but emotionally.....
It's not sobbing, at least, just... quiet crying. )
Sorry— fuck, I'm sorry. ( Comes the muffled voice, dripping with apology. He knows this is a lot, to dump so much on someone, and now he's crying.... He's a fucking basketcase and it's stupid and awful and he hates himself for it. All it takes is someone being nice to him and Peter's crumbling to pieces.
...But Daniel's doing so much more for him than just being nice. He's... not only accepting all this demon shit, but saying it's okay, that Peter's still a part of things, that he can come to him for help... The guy really barely knows him at all, all things considered, and he's saying things like that..... He's always been so nice, hasn't he? From the very beginning. And Robby always seemed comfortable around him; Peter couldn't help but feel that way, too. But he's... maybe he's being too nice, maybe he doesn't fucking deserve this. Does he? It's not fair for him, to be put in a situation like this.
Peter's shaking his head, slowly, keeping his face hidden. )
You're a really nice guy, but you don't have to— like it's okay, if you don't want me to come over and stuff. Like I get it. I've got some weird demon, I'm a.... a freak of nature. It's okay, you don't... have to be nice to me.
no subject
There's no way it stops Daniel from doing what he was doing already, but the man just can't help but wonder what ever happened to Peter. How he was treated. Did he just.. have no one to rely on before? Was no one nice to him? Surely there must've been someone, right? (But then again, thinking of Robby's own situation-- It's not impossible.)
Daniel frowns a little, mostly since Peter isn't looking and can't misinterpret it as anger or disappointment when it's just worry. ]
Peter..
[ He could easily say that it's not like he feels like he has to be nice out of some sense of obligation or anything. But would the boy just believe that, when he's breaking down over this?
.. maybe it's time to try a different angle, even if he isn't so sure whether that will work either. ]
You know that everyone in class has got a lot going on, right? Robby went through-- through a lot of crap back home. [ Even now Daniel is upholding his no-swearing-in-front-of-the-kids policy, huh.. ] Izuku is some sort of superhero in training where he comes from. Shigeo can bend spoons with his mind. And Jun has.. well, he's seen some stuff.
[ Even though Peter can't see him, Daniel smiles a little. Sadly, though. It hurts, thinking about just how much all of these kids seem to have gone through. Peter is no different. ]
I mean, even I-- when I was your age, I was forced into sudden karate deathmatches. [ And that wasn't even the worst of it, but there's no way Daniel is going to acknowledge the worst of it out loud.. no, thanks... ] I know maybe none of that compares to what you're going through, Peter, but I'm just saying-- It's really easy to have something about you that sets you apart, or bad stuff keeps happening to you and it makes you wonder if there's something about you that deserves it.
[ A freak of nature, Peter had said. It hadn't felt too far off, with how Daniel kept attracting aggressive karate rivals against his will, like there was something personally wrong with him. Like it was a crime to just be Daniel. ]
But if we've all got something going on, that means you just fit right in with us, don't you think..?
[ There's a pause, and then perhaps a more direct, less packed in metaphors: ]
I want you to be a part of Miyagi-do for as long as you want to be that as well. Demon or no demon.
I'M SORRY FOR THE NOVELS OF INTROSPECTION, oh my god.............
And sure, most people around here come from worlds that do involve supernatural stuff, and things like demons maybe aren't even that big a deal, but even around those friends, it's... hard for Peter to sincerely think deep down that they’re okay with him at the core. There has to be some part of people that fears him, or at the very least feels uneasy.... but Peter's maybe tried to just swallow down those insecurities around those friends, because he knows it's got to be irritating to keep hearing about it when they've known other equally bizarre things. People who've been through some supernatural war, or... have been cursed or something; hell, often times they've been possessed, too.
Which is maybe why those insecurities are rushing out around someone who doesn't come from a world that has such things in it. Weird as it may seem, all of this is maybe needed, in Peter. He needs to express how insecure he is. Needs to make it... known. And like with Robby, it's... a really, really big deal that someone like Daniel accepts him.
And maybe it's hard for Peter to accept that so easily in return, his mind responding in the kneejerk — giving the poor guy allowance, permission, to not be so nice to him. If Daniel wants him gone, to stop coming to practice, to stop coming over here at all, even to stop seeing Robby — all of those things are warranted. That upset, combined with the emotions of the incident with Robby, with disappointing and hurting one of the best friends he's ever made all on his own..... Peter's kind of an emotional mess.
He's pausing when Daniel calls his name, head still lowered, but it's clear he's listening — going very still and silent.
That's.... true. Everything Daniel's saying is true, Peter knows that. It may not be literal demons but there's also the metaphorical ones, god he knows that, and he's certainly gotten to know some of Robby's in a few talks here and there; he's sure things run even more deeply than what the other boy exposed then. Mob, the others— they're a hodgepodge of oddities, whether it's supernatural-inflicted or not. Even Daniel..... Peter's seen glimpses of what the man's faced, too. Spoke with his younger self, learned some of those dark, upsetting parts, and even then he's sure there's more to it; there always is.
'—bad stuff keeps happening to you and it makes you wonder if there's something about you that deserves it.'
Oh. Sometimes somebody says something the exact way that you've felt for your entire life, and it hits like a brick. Realising how many other people might also feel that way.
Peter's slowly, finally, looking up. He's not in complete pieces, the crying has been soft and quiet, the result of too much flooding up and spilling out a little. He's mostly composed, able to sniffle wetly and keep himself calm, reaching up to wipe beneath his eyes with a finger, one and then the other.
He does get the overarching thing of what Daniel's saying. He does. It's the same way that some of his friends have tried to frame his situation, and especially Luna — treating his... possession like it's a condition, like other things might be. Other things that people live with, those inhuman powers or human aches and pains and traumas, the things that give you nightmares even years after something happened, the reasons you might have odd behaviours or quirks or certain little fears that no one else can understand. Peter's been trying to perceive himself that way too, over time. It's hard, hard not to see himself as some complete Other, but he's been trying.
This is a reminder, a reiteration of it, and coming from somebody who really doesn't have any reason to care to keep him around except out of the goodness of their heart. Somebody who clearly just.... gives a shit about that hodgepodge little group of young people. Peter's staring, clearly affected by all of the older man's words, swallowing hard against that tight lump in his throat. )
I do want to. I... like it there. Not just... because it helps with him, but— I like it. For me.
( He's making friends, he feels comfortable there.... There's Robby, and even if things are weird right now, Peter wants to stay with him. He's forming a little bond with Mob, and— getting to know the others better. He likes it at the dojo. It's.... something for him. A hobby, an activity, he chose to do, and in this weird fucking world, and in his weird fucking situation, genuine choices are a precious rarity. He likes being around Daniel, too, likes learning from someone who's kind and funny and patient with him. )
I can— I promise I'll try, to keep him..... safe. Keep others safe around him, I mean. Izuku already knows, too — he's... been really nice about it.
And he's not.... evil, not the way I thought demons were. He's— if it seems like he's doing bad or something, I can... stay home that day. I won't come.
( He wipes his face with the back of his shirt sleeve this time, nodding quickly. There's probably a lot more to say about.... attending Daniel's classes while harbouring a demon, certain safety measures to be gone over, but he's only able to think of a few surface ones right now. ...The thing that sticks is that it's okay if he keeps coming. He's allowed to. And... he doesn't want to fuck that up. He wants to try to manage this. )
please i love them..........
So it's not like he's going to turn away a young man who clearly needs the company and help just to get rid of one risk in the sea of plenty. ]
That sounds good to me. [ The things Peter is proposing already here. It's not even a surprise that Midoriya knows and is cool with it, because.. well, that's just how that boy is. Even without a demon inside of them, most of his students tend to be a bit quirky in a way Daniel is quickly growing very fond of. ] We can think of more stuff too that might help, but-- later.
[ When Peter hasn't already gone through so much emotional talking. He clearly needs a break from having to think too hard on dealing-with-Paimon plans right now, and Daniel reaches out to give the other's hand a light, reassuring pat, the smile on his face not wavering. ]
.. I'm mostly just glad you like karate. [ Okay, maybe not just the karate itself as much as everything around it, but that has always been a package to Daniel. Karate was never just about the fighting for him either, not even when he was younger. ] It came into my life at a time when I really needed it too.
[ Which feels a little less like A Lot to suddenly say when Daniel does vaguely remember Peter having met his younger self, and having heard.. some things.. ]
And my teacher always taught me it's not just about the fighting. It's about-- finding balance in your life. Even with putting all that demon stuff to the side.. I hope you can find that here, Peter. [ Because he seems like he could use it in general. Peter can't just be a nervous wreck half of the time because of the demon, though Daniel is pretty sure the demon thing doesn't help either. There's got to be more that's throwing the young man off balance.
It's why Daniel is glad Robby brought his friend along to try out karate in the first place. ]
So keep coming and let me help you with that, okay?
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So this... joining a team, being around other people, it's new in this regard, too. But it all falls back to the same.... things. The ways he has to handle it around Luna. On those bad days, those days when Paimon's a bit more aggressive or unsettled, Peter keeps a bit of a distance from her. He might not get too physically close, might try to stay in his room and watch a relaxing movie or listen to calming music. It's like that with his other friends too, and... at the dojo, he'll also need to be aware of it. Take a certain responsibility.
It's all still a bit scary to think about, and he's still unsure how okay with him Daniel might be if he ... does encounter Paimon for himself. But Peter is tired, and still sore from other weights, and the simple (not so simple though, not really) fact that Daniel has accepted him on this level of letting him stay a member of the team.... the fact he willingly reaches to touch Peter, offering that gentle pat of reassurance. The younger is swallowing again, and then giving a little nod. He's not crying anymore, any residue of wet on his face starting to dry, and not replaced by any fresh tears. He feels calmer. )
Thank you.
( Said quiet and soft, and Peter's slowly looking back up at Daniel. His teacher... Mister Miyagi, Peter hasn't forgotten his name. Or the way that younger version of Daniel spoke about him. How sincere he was, how... important it was to him. The role the man played in his life, when the little boy had lost his father, was dealing with the struggles of so much, the bullying.... Thinking back on it now makes Peter's heart hurt. No, he may not know Daniel all that well, or for that long, but.... he'd like to keep this person he's made a connection with. And show him the same kind of kindness that Daniel's given to him. )
Okay. ( It's said softly, but there's a sincerity, another nod, Peter finally managing a little smile. )
I do like karate, ( he adds, wanting Daniel to... know. What it means to him. ) Your type of karate, it's... it's really nice. I've tried a lot of types of.... meditation, to help with things, but... it's hard for me to do it. It's easier at your dojo. When I come home, I feel... relaxed. And like maybe I'm a little stronger.
( He's... still not so capable with the physical aspects, but it's something he can still do. It doesn't feel like he's lacking, like he's stupid or useless or unwanted. Everyone's kind, all the other students help him, Robby's there— he likes it. He wants to stay. )
It used to scare me a lot... karate. Because of... ( He doesn't say the name, doesn't directly mention Johnny, not now. ) ...because I saw a lot of people getting into fights and stuff about it, here. ( And the fact Johnny kidnapped him and had one of his students beat him up...... but he doesn't mention that. (Although of all people, Daniel would probably understand that....) ) But.... I'm not scared of it anymore, I think. Because of you.
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There's no way pride can't blossom in Daniel's chest with what the other is saying. It's not even personal pride or anything, it's just-- hearing Peter saying he likes karate, that he likes this kind of karate.. It feels like a compliment towards mister Miyagi more than anything, and there's nothing that makes Daniel happier than that. It feels like the only way he can keep the man's memory alive - showing kids that there are ways to protect yourself, to feel a little more secure, without having to be a jerk or aggressive about it.
And if it's genuinely helping Peter too.. well, that's just yet another positive side to the coin. ]
Hey, I think you have to give yourself some credit for that too. [ Daniel is smiling, and he is basking in the compliment a little when Daniel has such a thing for getting praise.. but with the way the man is, he can't help but want to bounce some of it back at the same time. ] Getting over fear is never easy. And sure, some people might call being scared of karate.. silly, I suppose.
[ People in this place who have experienced Trench for long, maybe. Or people from awful worlds, where karate doesn't seem like the end of the world. ]
But I know it can be really scary. [ From.. very deep personal experience, even, though Daniel is quick to tuck away any implication of that, just.. gently moving on.. H-He can't be traumatized if he's doing breathing exercises, okay!! ] And overcoming that, and instead finding a positive place for it in your life.. It's a big transformation, and it's really admirable that you managed to do that.
[ He gives Peter's hand another brief pat before pulling his own hand back. ]
You're doing great, alright? In so many ways, so don't forget that. I know I'll be sure to keep reminding you of that fact. [ Because Peter isn't going to run away. Because he is going to continue attending the dojo, even after all this. ]