deercountry | it catches up eventually

[Ada hadn't even been there when it all went down so she couldn't even imagine how the others were feeling right now. But it was because of that, that Ada herself felt like she had to do something. Help out in her own way when you was unable to before.

Plus it helped her to focus on every one else than spending time on her own thoughts and feelings. So even though she wasnt still 100% back to normal after her own death she set out to start on various tasks:

A)
[One of the task she had decided to do was the cleaning. Dusting for the most part and making sure that it was at differently done. Going high-end low she hinted down the dust and all the whole she kept quiet having somewhat reverted back to the way she had been at the beginning of the month.

Trying to reach areas that were perhaps a little too high she soon found herself falling to the ground. She was surprised but didn't seem to respond to what happened right away]

B)
[Thanks to being a Pureblood her desire to bake really helped with the distractions and she had instead turned to focus on baking or cooking as much as she could. How much she had managed to make had taken up a whole counter as she was only making more, putting another into the oven to bake before going to mix another batch. Her face was void of emotion as she did, not wanting to worry others and instead doing her best to help]

[Seeing Ada so empty feels like the past ten or so years all over again. Gil has not yet recovered, or said very much, even if he also felt a strange desire to bake. This isn't the time. Yet doing something on autopilot, even if it's baking, is better than standing still.

Right now, Gil isn't in the kitchen to bake. He's there because despite how much he's drowning from his own grief, he's more worried about Ada. She's like Oz in that she tries keeping her pain to herself behind a smile or kind actions, and he can't stand to lose her too. He needs to do something.]

Miss Ada.

[He quietly interrupts her, moving closer to her and hesitating, before finally reaching out to put his hand on her shoulder. In normal circumstances, his own shyness and desire to be polite would stop him, but he needs this and suspects she may as well.]

Please, go rest for a moment. I can keep an eye on the kitchen for now.

[Ada had perhaps been a little too focused on her task at hand, checking that the ingredients were mixed in well enough that she had forgotten that she was even at home. In a safe place.

So when she felt a hand lightly touch her shoulder she suddenly tensed up and dropped what she was holding causing the batter to fall on the floor and onto her dress.

As soon as she turned her head and realised just who it was a sense of fear was quickly replaced with worry.]

I'm sorry! I didn't realize it was you...sorry.

[Gil watches the batter fall to the floor as if in slow-motion, his own reaction delayed. His hand trembles in midair before he drops his arm and crouches down, picking up the bowl first to put it in the sink so he can start cleaning. No one is okay, but Ada's reaction...he fears it's not just due to Oz's death.]

Don't apologize.

[He finally looks at her with some emotion, his eyes concerned.]

You should go get cleaned up. I'll take care of this.

[Ada was already moving to the ground to start cleaning up nearly colliding as a result.]

No, it's fine I can do it. It's the least I can do...

[She moved to grab a cloth to start the cleaning, all the while she was trying her best to focus on him.]

But...you know if you need to talk I'm here for you.

Edited 2022-06-10 17:58 (UTC)

[Gil almost headbutts Ada by accident, but he stops himself. Now it’s his turn to apologize.]

I’m sorry!

[He grabs a different cloth, a little bit slower than Ada due to only having one arm, but the cloth falls out of his hand and he looks at her, stunned by her kindness.]

Miss Ada… Thank you, but the same goes for you as well. I won’t pressure you to talk if you’re not ready, but I’m—

[He’s worried about her.]

[Ada glanced down at the mess instead before her. She had stopped what she was doing for the moment ton let the words set in. Soon she gripped the cloth briefly.]

Then how about we both talk now? It seems all we are doing is just worrying one another, right?

[As much as she doesn't want to. Maybe it will help in thanking run.]

You can also just call me Ada you know.

[Gil has been intentionally avoiding this conversation. He doesn't know what he could say. It feels wrong to speak when Ada is hurting. He's just very broken inside. He knows he'll have to address this eventually, though. If it gets Ada to open up, then he'll face this.]

Okay. Let's go sit down.

[Surprise flashes across Gil's face. It's subtle, but it's an emotion. Calling her just Ada feels wrong an impolite. But after everything they've been through together, he supposes he can piece together why, and will try to honor her wish.]

Yes, Mi- Ada.

[Ada nodded slightly. Sure she didn't really want to talk about painful things and if she could she would just avoid it like the plague because for her and everyone it was just painful.

But for her this had been more of a reminder of how the world worked and more of a reminder of her own situation. Something she has honestly refused to talk about, especially since the day she came back. The look on her brothers face. She didn't want to cause anymore of that. So she choose to suffer in silence and focused on other things.

So after the cleaning had at least been done to the floor she went to put the cloth on the counter and turned the oven down a bit. She didn't want to cause a fire or anything afterall.

Finally after all of that She takes a seat, hands fidgeting as she did. It was a painful thing to talk about, but she didn't want to keep worrying people either.]

So...first I should apologise for my reaction when you approached. Before this month... I had gone though a similar thing that big brother will probably go through during the rebirth cycle. Though in my case I died by someone else's hand and I have the scars as a reminder.

Edited 2022-06-11 06:23 (UTC)

[Gil sits at Ada's side, not right next to her but not too far away either. He stares at the wall, waiting patiently. As much as he worries about Ada, he tries to appear somewhat calm. He's not very good at it, but the exhaustion that's taken over his body helps maintain the illusion. He's about to fretfully argue that Ada has no reason to apologize, but those words drench him, like a wave of ice cold water.]

What?

[He barely manages to whisper, wanting this horrible sense of dread to be wrong but knowing in his heart of hearts he didn't mishear her.]

You were hurt too...?

[This ha been something Ada never really thought to talk about. Ada even when she goes through things has just always been able to handle it in her own way and move on. But why was it her own death and what has just happened to Oz changed that?

Maybe it was different in someway, maybe because it was more personal than it had been before. She didn't know. But here she was talking about that exact thing she didn't want to talk or worry anyone else about just because... she didn't want to worry someone about her behavior.]

Yeah... my first month here. I went out exploring one day and came across someone in a crazed state with either a knife or a sword... I don't actually remember. Not exactly something I can handle it turns out.

[Her hands went to her shoulder for a brief moment. She couldn't reach where the scars were exactly at least the ones on the back. Her eyes glanced down as her hand moved to where the heart would be. Her words were sad as she spoke them.] I have three scars over all because of it, two in the back in which one seems to mirror this one here...

[So it was obvious if it was in front of the heart why it was there anyway.]

That...is probably why I'm acting the way I am now. Worrying those I care about while trying not to and I'm sorry for that. But it gives me an understanding as to what to expect when Onii-chan comes back. What I can do to help and make him comfortable...

[Which in it's own way was rather sad to know. What side effects could happen and how long it took for her to even recover when she came back. She knew what it could be like.]

Your the first person I've actually... told. People know I died obviously, but not the how.

[Gil’s thoughts are a poisonous mess that make clarity practically impossible, like the churning of waves in a storm. It’s not unlike the rage he felt like when he realized who helped throw Oz into the Abyss, that threatened to drag him down and he had to fight tooth and nail to not succumb to.

Only with Ada, the person who hurt her doesn’t sound like someone close to her. He should have been here. He should have been here earlier, but he was useless.]

Any scars you have are nothing to be ashamed of.

[His voice is louder than he intended, trying to distract himself from his own violent thoughts, but they don’t go away easily. They never do.]

This person who did this— Are they still around?

[Ada found herself jumping slightly. That had been unexpected and honestly what was she honestly expecting when talking about a subject that involved death in the first place. They were nothing to be ashamed of? She couldn't see how they weren't to be, but they were more there as a reminder to not let it happen again more than a feeling of shame.

But was that the same thing but in a different way? She didn't know. All she knew was that they were there and would be there permanently.]

They are just a reminder to never put myself in that situation again... somehow.

[She hadn't figured out the how just yet. But she soon paused. She really should have expected that question really.]

Yeah, he is. I spoke to him recently.

You spoke to him.

[Gil repeats softly, not quite believing his own ears. He clings to the arm of the chair, digging his nails in til his knuckles turn white.

He'll kill him. He'll kill the person who hurt his dear friend. But even that won't undo the tragedy Ada has experienced. It won't heal any scars. Gil sinks away from the chair, dropping to his knees so that he's bowing in front of Ada.]

You won't be put in that situation ever again, Mis-- Ada. You have my word. I will keep you safe.

Edited 2022-07-18 15:51 (UTC)

Yes, I... just needed to check something.

[And considering what she had seen she had at least learned she had never been the first person he had killed. Perhaps killed here in Trench sure, but not in general which was a bit worrying. But Ada was working her way towards forgiveness like she always does.

It was to be expected that Gilbert would act a certain way, considering what she had just told him being protective was par for the course. But she couldn't be exactly sure he could keep his word. She wanted to at least believe it either way as she smiled.]

I... will trust your word on that, even if the world might not necessarily make it easy.

[...] Did you go alone?

[The more he learns, the more horrified he becomes. He keeps digging his hand into his thigh, so that he won't reach for his gun and leave right then and there to find the scumbag who would hurt Ada, hurt his dear friend and shoot him into the ocean.

He tries to keep his tone gentle, calm, not wanting to alarm her, but his voice catches.]

I will...I'll earn your trust. Do you know this person's name, Ada?

Oh no I used the network we have here.

[So thankfully it was not in person, she knew better than that at least. Was this at all being helpful currently? No. Not at all, but Ada didn't really know what was going on in the others head right now to think that maybe she should stop talking about it. At the mention of the name she paused.]

I might... why?

I see.

[It's barely a relief, but it still is one knowing that Ada didn't approach him in person. Gilbert is a poor liar, and even worse at hiding his emotions. When she asks him why, there's a flicker of surprise. His body tenses and he holds his breath, mind reeling for any plausible excuse. He's really not good at this. Vincent would be much more convincing.]

Because I don't trust him.

[He finally answers, partially honest, after what feels like minutes of silence.]

[She watched him quietly, seeing what answer he comes up with. She had honestly been nervous about what the reason could be because she knew one of the main thoughts would be something she could imagine happening because... usually that is a thought one would go to if one hurts another is to do the same, right?

But Ada wanted to at least try and avoid that and it seemed like while only partly true was in fact still partly true.]

I mean I don't know him enough to know that myself. This world seems to have its way of messing with people after all...

it catches up eventually

OTA

B

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CW: mentions of murder

cw: murder talk in this thread

cw: murder talk in this thread

cw: homicidal thoughts

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cw: homicidal thoughts this whole thread probably

cw: homicidal thoughts this whole thread probably

Re: cw: homicidal thoughts this whole thread probably

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