Oz "Vessalius" (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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deercountry2022-06-09 07:08 pm
swornto) wrote in deercountry2022-06-09 07:08 pm
Entry tags:
it catches up eventually
Who: Oz Vessalius, Xerxes Break, & Close CR
What: Oz becomes corrupted and dies, then Break gets stuck in a miserable timeloop.
When: June 15th (forward-dated)
Where: Pandora House & The Forest Around
Content Warnings: Suicidal Ideation, Beasthood Suicide, Child Endangerment
A Cycle of Misery
Please use the top-levels below, because there are timeloop shenanigans to keep orderly!
What: Oz becomes corrupted and dies, then Break gets stuck in a miserable timeloop.
When: June 15th (forward-dated)
Where: Pandora House & The Forest Around
Content Warnings: Suicidal Ideation, Beasthood Suicide, Child Endangerment
A Cycle of Misery
Please use the top-levels below, because there are timeloop shenanigans to keep orderly!
OTA | CW: alcohol
[Break accepts Oz's death. Once they've whittled the whole day down to its barest bones and Oz's final decision becomes his choice and his alone, it's really all he can do. But while that wretched Pthumerian who forced them into the time loop may be satisfied with the results, Break himself is left burning with fury.
Changing the past is something he swore he'd never tamper with ever again. Half the people in this house died to stop someone from obliterating their world in exactly that fashion, himself included. And this subpar little shit of an eyeball thinks she can force him to do such a thing over and over, and drag Oz into facing his own death repeatedly, just because she's not happy with the thoughts Break thinks in the privacy of his own head? He would dearly love to slaughter this eyeball for toying with him so rudely, and the last time he can remember seething this much, he was bleeding all over the floor in front of the Rainsworth gate.
By rights he ought to be pulling himself together for the kids. Most of them had to watch someone they love very much give himself up to keep them safe today. But he's no good to anyone with kill, kill, kill thrumming in the back of his mind and his eyesight gone again, darkened by the intensity of his hatred, and he knows it. Instead, he pops briefly through the lanterns and comes home with a bottle of expensive whiskey, and holes himself up in the library with it. Outside of a few cooking wines, Break does not keep alcohol in the house -- it's not as though he can actually get drunk, and the one person he cares to share a drink with is two years sober, so there's no point. But tonight, what he wants is the nostalgic feel of a good whiskey scorching its way down his throat, the closest thing he can think of that will match the way his anger is eating him from the inside out. Anyone who looks into the library and finds him thus, slumped in an armchair with the open bottle on the side table next to him and his glass in his hand, will note that on top of his plainly sour mood, Break's darkblood is escaping his control.
With the weather warming up, there is no fire in the hearth. The smell and crackling sounds of a fire fill the room anyway, and the shadows in the room are far longer than they should be, sharp and threatening, as though they'd like to escape their rightful places and roam around like horrid ghosts. Baltus, laying dutifully at Break's feet, is not in great shape either. He's blurred at the edges, more darkness than dog, and all of his far too many teeth are exposed in a constant snarl.]
Either join me or get out.
Later That...Week
[It's being around his loved ones that keeps Break's own corruption under control, and several of them waste no time in gluing themselves to his side despite the way his murderous temper has finally shown itself. The anger dies down to a simmer, he manages to recover his eyesight, and mostly he's just grieving and pathetic. The lesson Remina actually wanted him to learn -- that it's hurtful to those around him when he allows himself to become mired in his regrets, and he'll drag them down with him -- is easier to see now. But like hell he knows how he's supposed to simply turn those thoughts off. Even as he's learned the hard way that he has to move on, those thoughts have always been there, so...
Gilbert's arrival and the strange paleblood compulsion to bake that seems to have afflicted him and Ada have meant that Break doesn't have to haunt the kitchen as he has for most of the past year, here lately. He certainly hasn't relinquished it to them entirely, though, and listless in the waiting and bereft of Lysithea's bakery, Break finds that he legitimately misses it. So, one day, when he goes down to forage among the fruit pies and finds no one there, he simply...stays. And starts making dumplings. Because he can, and they haven't any fruit in them, and because these are a food he has learned here in Trench. Something Gilbert doesn't know yet. Something familiar but new, to tether him to the fact that the choices he's made in his new life here matter.
He doesn't have any music on as he works, like he usually does. But he also doesn't snarl at anyone who wanders in, and Baltus has put his teeth away. It's an improvement.]
Later That Night (cw: alcohol, cigarettes & cigarette addiction)
Oz was alive. He was fine this morning. And now he's--
The smell of woodsmoke and familiar voice brings Gil just enough clarity from him to look up and into the library where his friend is. His eyes dart between Break, Baltus, the bottle of whiskey as he brings his cigarette up between his fingers and takes another drag, not really tasting the smoke. Break looks like shit and the room looks like a nightmare. Gil is supposed to be taking care of everyone. He's supposed to be looking after them. But he can't find it in himself to try.]
Break. You need to eat.
[His voice is flat, devoid of any emotion. It's the first thing he's said in hours. He lingers in the doorway, not yet joining him.]
cw: just vices and bad habits through the whole thread, probably
If it had to happen, the harsh, nasty voice in his head whispers, better that it happen now, honestly. Better that Gil see immediately what this place is capable of and take it seriously. If Oz had died even a week before Gil turned up, no doubt he'd have smiled, no doubt he'd have kept the incident to himself and never breathed a word --]
...sure.
[It's a dull agreement. He does need to eat. He'll make himself sick long before he ever gets drunk. But he makes no move at all to stand up and go, emptying the remains of his glass instead and pouring another, not bothering to hide the traitorous wandering of his hand as he blindly feels out where the bottle is.]
no subject
That glass better not be empty by the time I get back.
[He mumbles, his footsteps slow in the hallway as he leaves for a few minutes. When he returns, he's finished that cigarette and has a plate with some toast and grilled vegetables that had been meant for dinner, as he trudges in and puts the plate down on the table near Break, finally allowing himself to sit. He doesn't ask Break for permission as he pours himself a drink. He tries to convince himself that he stays so he can make sure Break does eat, but if he's being honest that's not the only reason.]
no subject
[This scoff of a noise is Break for "and just what are you going to do about it if it is", but it won't be empty. Not because Gil said so, but because it isn't Break's style. The inability to drink to get drunk means knocking things back is just a waste of time and booze. No, if Gil has any familiarity at all with whiskey, he'll understand that Break has acquired the good stuff -- smooth and rich with a vanilla sort of warmth -- and he is savoring it.
He is absolutely the sort of guy who would be swanning around parties with strange colorful cocktails with little umbrellas, but this is the drink that best suits what's underneath.
When Gilbert returns, Break makes no move whatsoever to reach for the food, even though he hears the plate click against the table as Gil sets it down. Nor does he greet his young colleague. But then, Baltus growls low in his throat, and Break sneers a little as he engages in a silent mental argument with his omen. He loses it, apparently, because after a few moments of this he concedes to feel around until he runs across a piece of toast, and sullenly eats it. The growling subsides. Baltus is very good.]
no subject
Everything tastes the same right now anyway, but at least the warmth is something different. It does nothing to dull the pain in his chest, so, selfishly he pours himself another glass.
He watches the argument between Break and Baltus. At least someone here can convince Break to take care of himself. Gil has no reassuring words, nothing he can think of to offer to make anything better. But there is something he is certain of and believes, so he manages to speak, not afraid of how Break might react, because Gil isn’t the only one who’s hurting and he’ll be damned if he lets anyone else destroy themselves.]
It’s not your fault.
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...I'm well aware.
[The answer is dripping with sarcasm, but without realizing it, Gilbert has just punched him directly in an open wound. At any other time, it is the sort of thing he'd need to hear. That has been made ruthlessly clear to him today, and that's what he's actually angry about.]
Listen here, Gilbert. I feel no need to tell the others this as of yet, but as you'll no doubt be his primary support when he returns, you need to know it. What happened today was not a single incident. He and I spent the afternoon caught in a time loop courtesy of one of those blasted Pthumerians, reliving the afternoon over and over.
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But...well, whatever. Oz isn't here to be burdened by Gil's idiocy. He's not going to be--
The empty glass falls from Gil's hand, rolling on the floor. There is a lot to go over with that explanation, but Gil can only repeat one sentence in his mind, and it doesn't involve time loops. He tries to grab Break by the shoulder in a vice-like grip, his voice choked as he sounds like he might cry.]
Oz... You're saying Oz is coming back?!
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-- holy shit. [He picked this cuss up from Qrow.] Did no one think to tell you this? That death isn't -- it's not permanent, here...?
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All of that pain, loss, the rage aimed at himself comes out at once before Gil can compose himself.]
YOU FORGOT TO MENTION THAT PART!
[He sounds like he might break into sobs at any moment, his voice echoing through the library. Sorry to anyone who may be attempting to rest at this hour. Gil doesn't care about that. He doesn't care about his own pain. His grip loosens but he clings to Break's shoulder now out of desperation, staring down at the floor.
His voice quivers.]
He's really returning?
[Is it like being reincarnated? Will Gil have to wait a hundred years and watch everyone else die in the meantime?]
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He moves his hand from Gil's wrist to his shoulder and squeezes it, in a gesture meant to be reassuring.]
Ohh, Gilbert. Yes. If things go as they typically do in this place, he'll be back within a week. [He can't help but add the disclaimer because it's one of his own fears -- that someone might die and then never return.] His -- body will crystallize, and hatch into a squid, and he'll transform back into himself from there.
[At least, if nothing else, Break can give somebody good news in all this.]
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Sorry, Break. Gil releases his hold and stands suddenly, his hand gripped into a fist, tears streaming down his face.]
Then why are we wasting time sitting around and feeling sorry for ourselves?! We need to make sure Oz's body is safe-- Oz needs us!
[Gil's nerves are all frayed and tightly wound, but he hasn't overlooked everything Break said before. He pauses as things start to click into place and stares at Break in horror.]
You said you were caught in a time loop. [...] How long, Break?
[How long have Oz and Break been reliving this hell?]
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I'm afraid I lost count. Enough times that we were able to whittle away every single decision that could have led to that ending, and come to understand that -- it's the use of his Chain powers that cause corruption in him. That last time, the time you remember, he knew exactly what would happen and chose this fate on his own terms. So you see, I'm well aware that it wasn't my fault.
[They eradicated every single way it could have been Break's fault, and Oz acted independently. Break drums his fingers just once against the arm of the chair and reaches again for his whiskey glass.]
I don't feel sorry for myself at all. Rather, if I thought for a single second it wouldn't bring further suffering down on those precious to me in this place if I did it, I would dearly love to kill that Pthumerian, for putting us in a situation where we had no choice but to change the past for its satisfaction.
[Do you remember, Gilbert? Do you remember that time when Break had good reason to believe Reim had been murdered, and proceeded to lose his mind and try to kill some Baskervilles all alone? This is just a milder version of that same temper tantrum, and blessedly, he is actually thinking about consequences this time and staying his hand. By that same token, though, he can't find an outlet for his rage outside of the burn of the alcohol.]
later that night
So obvious that even Ange, who wasn't a part of any of this, can tell something went down. And when she can't spot at least one person around the house, there's a bit more of an idea of what went down as well, even though she might not know the exact details of the matter.
Still, it has obviously affected pretty much all of the house's original residents. It makes Ange feel a little awkward - mostly since she doesn't know what to do here. Comforting any of the kids would feel weird, since she doesn't feel like she knows any of them well enough to be the right person for that. Surely they'd find more comfort with each other. In this moment she feels more like an outsider staying here with Ruby than she has this entire time, but Ange tries to repress the feeling.
She's got better things than to feel sorry for herself right now, no matter how she may still be hurting.
In an attempt to at least do something, Ange starts wandering through the house. It's not the sort of wandering without aim though. The girl is looking for something as she makes her way around, careful to not get in the way of any of the emotional kids so she won't disturb them, instead looking for someone else.
Someone she ends up finding in the library, in the middle of imaginary fire and very real shadows. It feels like wandering into a storybook - and not in the good sort of way.
But it doesn't scare her. Nor does the way he speaks up like that, or the way Baltus looks in this moment. Maybe it would have scared Ange off a few months earlier, like how skittish she got after he struck down something she said hard back in the Snake Den for a moment, but in this instance Ange manages to endure the sharp edges about everything surrounding her right now for long enough to just wander into the room, closing the door behind her. ]
I'll join you then.
[ Her voice is entirely too calm for the worry - for him, not for herself - she feels in this moment, but Ange is a master at that sort of control when she truly tries. She wants to make sure to first see the shape of Break's hurt before deciding how to exactly approach it, and until then.. she can just be careful. It's not like she hasn't spent years upon years navigating other people's tempers. She's an expert by now.
And in this case there's even less to be afraid of, since Break wouldn't lash out at her in a way he wouldn't severely regret a few moments later, Ange thinks-- hopes-- thinks.
Her gaze falls onto the bottle as she gets closer - ugh, okay, maybe she won't join him in that, thanks - and the scene gets a little bit more clear.
Ange moves all the way through the room until she can sit down in an empty chair, but she keeps an eye out for pretty much anything as she goes, especially anything about Break himself. She's determined to gain as much information as she can here about the man's current condition without outright asking Break about anything just yet, to spare him that.
And at least just her being here means that isn't alone with all of this.
Even if there's nothing else she ends up being able to do - just that is contributing to something, in her opinion. He shouldn't be alone right now, even though Break might have retreated here like this in the first place. ]
no subject
As so often happens, it's Baltus who betrays how Break is truly feeling, sitting here like so in his personal curtain of gloom. On an ordinary day, the omen would be up on his feet in an instant, trotting over to greet one of their favorite people properly; on a day when Break might be feeling down, it would be more of a slink, but Baltus would still go to receive the pats and scritches he deserves simply for being the best. Now, though his ears lift in Ange's direction and his tail whacks the floor a couple times, even Baltus is too tense and wired to want to be close to her. He lets out a couple of sneezy dog noises, sounds intended to be greetings that can't help but change to snarls halfway, and rolls to expose his belly. The sight of this noodle with his front legs curled politely and his back ones splayed out like toothpicks in a little sausage hors d'oeuvre ought to be hilarious in contrast to the shadows, but it's tempered by all the teeth.
Break, for his part, unable to see and not knowing she has already scorned his vice of choice, reaches to an empty spot on the little side table and flattens his hand on it. When it moves, it's suddenly curling around a second glass, which manifests there in his grasp. Break has conjured things in front of her before, now that his powers are something he's actively trying to gain control over. But he hasn't been so casual and careless about it since the rose he made for her in the Snake Den months ago when safety from one's powers was guaranteed, and that's probably a warning sign of some sort.
Still, if he's making her a glass, he's certainly not rejecting her company.]
...Oz died today. You should know.
[His voice is soft but hard as he spares her immediately from trying to figure out what the real problem is. And while it's very likely that Break has something more bothering him, given how sturdy he's been in previous crises, it certainly explains the pall cast over the entire house. Oz is a much more elusive ball of sunshine than Ruby is, and anyone with a lick of experience with cagey people can tell he keeps a great many things to himself and smiles to cover them up. But he's also pretty clearly beloved among his housemates, which most recently include his best friend and his sister. Of all the people who could possibly get killed, Oz is arguably one of the worst.]
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[ Her own voice is soft too. The way she notes what he's saying isn't entirely casual or unsympathetic, but her voice is still relatively calm, hard to find any particular emotion in for the moment. Maybe she's trying to control her tone a little more in the face of how unhinged everything else in this room seems. Baltus' appearance, the rampant shadows and illusions, Break using his blood magic so casually.
Maybe she hopes to be able to balance it all out a little bit as long as she can make herself remain a stable presence in the middle of it all.
Still, what Break is saying makes sense. Ange already couldn't spot Oz around anywhere, and that coupled with the others' moods made it easy to assume that something happened to him. Him dying would explain just how upset everyone seems, though Break's own mood seems a little.. much for that. Not that she thinks he wouldn't be upset if something happened to one of his kids. Of course he would be.
But this feels like a little bit more than that. After all, the man is not out there, trying to help comfort the kids in some way. Instead he's here by himself, clearly brooding in the most intense of ways. Dangling on the edge of.. of something.
It's not just that Oz died. There's something a little more.
Invisible to Break, Ange's gaze shifts from the newly summoned glass to the other's face. ]
Were you there..? When it happened?
[ After all, the girl can only think back to one thing in the face of that idea. If it upset Break this much, there must be another emotion at play here. And she fully well remembers how in the wake of Sayo's confession the man had shown up at the entrance of her bedroom looking every inch like a guilty dog, blaming himself for not having shared information with her earlier.
Clearly this particular mood is a lot more intense than the one from back there, but she can't help but wonder if it might be rooted in that same sensation of guilt. Next to that time he had thought himself to have been thrown back into the Abyss, it's the strongest emotion she's ever seen from him, after all. ]
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[For a long moment, that seems like all Ange is going to get. Break all but grunts the word, and then resumes sipping at his drink. Baltus objects, it seems. With a grumbling groan, the omen reaches out a paw and whacks gently at Break's knee, and he makes a sneering face at whatever Baltus is telling him in the privacy of his head.
Baltus is encouraging him to actually talk about things, as it happens. That they saw yet again with their own eyes today what corruption does in this place, and that it can't be good to linger too long in so foul a mood. That Ange is safe. She's made it a point to stand at his side before. That she has elected to come sit with him now when he's plainly unfit for genuine company means she's choosing to do so again, and Break should allow it.
These things are all true. Break has two problems. The first is simply that nine months in Trench has not made "talking about his problems" any easier or less annoying. The second is that it has not escaped Break's attention that Ange has collected a great many pieces to the puzzle of his history, and if Trench doesn't reveal his past to her for him as it did with Qrow, she might well manage to figure it out.
By rights, he needs to tell her on his own. But just this second, when she's staying here because of Sayo again and Break is easily as horrible as Sayo is, is not the time. Which means he can't reveal just why this is so hurtful to him personally anyway, not without giving her too much.
Still, Baltus says in his head. It's better than nothing. And she should know this can happen. She certainly has her own regrets.]
...several times. [He blurts it out before he can persuade himself not to, and then backtracks a little.] Miss Ange. Were you aware that there is a Pthumerian here that -- can force people to relive the same day over and over...?
[He does not even know about the witch games.]
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Those words make Ange pause, temporarily closing her eyes as if she's very tired. Of all things, of course.. ]
No. [ Some of that tired emotion is reflected in her tone, though not all of it. There's still something very direct about it, wanting to sort out the facts here. Because if this is something that happened to Oz, something that happened to Break.. then it could happen to anyone.
Then it could happen again, dragging in some of the same people. ]
But the same thing happened in the last place we were in, and there was Pthumerian influence there as well. [ Not quite as much here, but Sodder had some of the same powers, didn't she? So while the idea of one Pthumerian here having the same powers is exhausting, it's not necessarily surprising in that sense.
Ange is reminded of just how little she ever wants to see a single ice cream truck again. And she and Ruby got out of that okay. Alive - after a long time of trying.
She can't imagine how much worse it must be for Break, considering its final outcome. ]
It's tiring. [ Ange continues. Something in her voice still sounds tired indeed, but also knowing. This isn't someone trying to imagine what it's like.
It's someone who knows what it's like. Those games back home, then that experience in Deerington. She knows too well. ]
It just makes people feel powerless. I feel pissed off on your behalf that you got dragged into that. [ And on Oz's behalf.
And on the behalf of anyone else who might get dragged into a similar situation back home.
Ange really does dislike these Pthumerians, for everything they do to the people she cares about. They are no better than the witches back home, playing with people for fun. ]
.. was there even a purpose to it? Did they do it just to kill him..?
cw: talk of sacrificial suicide
[This is a very serious situation and Break has very serious feelings about it, but sometimes the universe crafts an attack against you that is so personal you simply have to stop for a moment to be extremely petty.
After this brief burst of annoyed energy, however, Break slumps in his chair again with a resigned sigh, sinking so far down into the cushions, his bum is practically hanging off the seat. Of course Ange just understands things. She so often does. Break worms his toes underneath his omen in acknowledgment that he was right, as usual, and Baltus twists to chew lovingly on Break's pant leg.]
...it meant us to learn some sort of lesson, I think. We had gone out to track down an especially nasty beast that was living too close to the house. We split up to come at it from opposite sides, but he found it first, and -- his powers flew out of control when he transformed to fight it. To stop himself from attacking me, he destroyed himself. The next thing I knew I was back here again, waiting for him to come outside, and..."get it right this time" was scrawled in blood across the wall.
[Break pauses to finish off his glass and pour himself another, his hand wandering to find things as it always does when he's blind. He can't be bothered to hide it, tonight.]
So, you see, his death was something that happened from the start. And then, the blasted eyeball made us relive the day until it was satisfied. We reached the same ending every time, until at last we realized that Oz's Chain form triggers corruption in him. Once we understood, I thought that would be that, but -- I'd called the others to come help with the beast so that he wouldn't have to use his powers, but one of the other kids fell. Despite knowing what would happen, he transformed again to protect her. I suppose since he accepted it on his own terms that time, we were released from the loop, but...
[He tries to find more words for a moment, and can't. Shaking his head, he has another long sip of his whiskey, savoring the burn again. Break shows no signs whatsoever of being intoxicated, but the sensation at least gives him something to focus on instead of his many, many nerves.]
no subject
After all, he's still being petty about something that's quite possibly the smallest and least offensive part of that entire ordeal. He still lets Baltus do as the Omen pleases, even though Ange is a little worried about the sheer amount of teeth that are chewing on Break's pants right now. Thankfully Baltus shouldn't be able to actually injure him. Hopefully.
It's those facts that makes Ange let him drink without saying anything about it. She can't quite believe this is fully drunk Break, so it's not like he's hit any alcohol limit yet. If drinking some helps him cope, and it's not an excess, then who is she to scold about that part? ]
.. but he still died. [ Ange says, finishing the sentence.
Maybe not in the way Break intended, but it's what the rest of said sentence feels like to her, after the rest of that story. ]
I imagine that doesn't feel like 'getting it right'. [ Sheesh. Just the fact that it was written on the wall in blood..
So distasteful and dumb. If the Pthumerian really cared about teaching anyone anything, Ange thinks, then they wouldn't do it in such a dumb and painful way. She refuses to accept that there's not just amusement for the Pthumerian in it as well.
Still, she imagines those are some lines of logic crossing over here. Oz died, Break tried to prevent it, but it didn't work, time and time again. And so here the man is now, sitting by himself, having retreated in the middle of his emotions-caused blindness. That all makes sense, even if it's just about the furthest thing from great. ]
no subject
But it isn't the real problem, and the full truth of it is not something Break can say. He can't tell Ange about how he changed the past once and has regretted it as the worst mistake of his life ever since, because he doesn't have an explanation as to what the hell he was doing in the first place and how he pulled it off that won't just tear another bit of his life to shreds as he sits here. There's no way to explain to her, even if he knows that doing so is supposed to help, that the source of the worst of his fury is a very old wound. One nestled down so deep within him that he hasn't even fully processed the sense of violation he feels over having it slashed at so directly.
After a great deal of thought, as Break so often does, he lands on something that is not at all a lie, even if it isn't the whole truth either. It will get the point across.]
...at the end of everything, at home...all of us wanted to restore the Abyss to its proper state. We wanted to fix it in the moment. Free the Will and let the world go on. Glen Baskerville, meant to be the guardian of the Abyss, wanted to go back in time to a century previous and kill the one person whose absence would mean the Abyss would never be broken in the first place.
His way would have prevented a great deal of pain and suffering. But it also would have erased our timeline entirely, and all the wonderful things everyone who had ever lived over the course of that century had managed to find. We believed that...even with so much suffering, our world as it existed then was something beautiful, and worth preserving. So, we fought him.
[Break speaks very slowly, trying to put the ending of the story together for Ange in a way that will make sense, given that she hasn't heard a great deal of the beginning or the middle.]
We fought him and a great many of us died, to save that world. I won't grant him the kill, but that guy was my last fight. I caught him on his way through to the past and stalled him as long as I could, and opened the way to send Oz and the others through after him once he'd gotten past me. To have devoted everything we had to go against his plan, a plan he himself ultimately gave up on as he passed the remaining burden down to the kids -- I imagine you can see why being thrust into exactly that sort of situation, and forced to play it out, would be...extremely disagreeable.
[Understatement.]
no subject
It seems that she was right on the money with that assumption by the time he speaks up again. The story he tells her is.. a little hard to follow, given that she only knows shreds and pieces of what was going on in Break's world, but Ange decides that the details aren't too important right now anyway.
It's about a parallel that Break is trying to draw here, as he indicates with that last part of what he says. The experience was worse for him since not only the petty details of what happened are familiar to him, but also the bigger situation as a whole.
.. and, let's be real. It would be a sucky situation even for people who never had to deal with situations that involved the past being rewritten before.
Ange hums. It's not quite as business-like as usual, but instead a little softer. ]
I get it.
[ There's a lot of stuff she could say here. So many of her own experiences that can make her relate with more of this, but.. it doesn't feel like the right time.
Instead she wants to fully focus on Break here - so that's what she does. Shifting to lean forward in her seat, even if he might not be able to see it, and looking a bit more active. ]
So.. what do we do? That Pthumerian probably can't be easily hurt. I could try to see if I can find a way, but.. I can't imagine you not having tried already.
[ One of the first puzzle pieces she got about Break, after all, was the fact that he's intensely protective. Ange can only imagine how much that quality was heightened in a situation like that, with the life of someone he cares about on the line, with so much of the situation being so familiar that it almost felt purposeful in the worst way possible.
The rest of her line of thought that brought her to say that is fairly simple though. It's just-- Break got hurt enough to be sulking (that word is doing a whole lot of underplaying here) here by himself, and Ange won't stand for that. ]
If it hurt all of you this bad, then we can't just.. leave it at that, right? I really hate what it did to you. [ Maybe it's a little forward, sure, but.. at this point there's honestly very little reason to not show Break she cares deeply about him when it's just the two of them anyway.
(Three, if you count Baltus, but he's an extension of Break and also the best boy, so it's fine.) ]
no subject
I could kill it, I bet. I thought of a way, in the midst of all that. It's exactly the sort of nonsense that makes me so mistrustful of these powers, but if I thought for a second it wouldn't have the lot of them raining hell down on the people I love here in retaliation, I would not be sitting here now.
[Break has actually considered the consequences of his actions before running off to commit violence in a fit of rage. This is progress, and he isn't actually thrilled about it. Baltus grumbles and switches his toothy attention to one of Break's shoes, and Break waggles his foot around almost playfully.]
...other than that, I don't...know. I don't know. You know, I think its real target was me? It sent us back to a moment when I was waiting for Oz to join me, not back to the moment when he already had, so -- I was the one who saw the message first, alone. When it's like that, it's difficult to think it wasn't meant for me, right? If I could sort out...exactly what I did to call its attention, then...
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.. but Ange knows the Pthumerians often are more specific than that, and it makes Break's suggestion not so impossible. Back in September, didn't that one Pthumerian drop people into the boat on that corpse river because they knew they'd have skeletons in the closet to talk about with whoever was there with them?
Would the thought that this month's variation of them would have haunted Break specifically then really be so strange? ]
I'd say it's because you went through a similar situation back home.. But the others did too, right? [ Judging by what Break was saying just now. It hadn't just been him caught up in that entire thing, even though it sounds like it's what he gave up his life for. ] So that's make it make less sense for you to have been targeted specifically. It can't have been since you were supposed to save Oz either, since..
[ .. since he died either way. Ange isn't cruel enough to repeat it, instead letting her voice trail off for a second as she shakes her head. The girl frowns to herself, really thinking about this entire situation.
Because - as Break helpfully points out - when targeting the Pthumerian might only bring them more trouble, maybe the only thing they can do is ensure no one else gets caught up in it, if there's even any way to prevent it at all. ]
Maybe it was trying to find and exploit a weakness. I mean.. it's pretty obvious how you try to look out for everyone who lives here.
[ So of course Break would get on edge over a situation that kept threatening one of those people, over and over. Ange thinks that it'd be a much more effective method than going after Break directly, if the Pthumerian's goal was to hurt the man.
It's an unkind reading of the creature's intentions, sure, but it's not like Ange "would rather jump down three stories than assume someone actually wants to help her" Ushiromiya tends to see the good in beings without being given a reason to do so. ]
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Ah, but that's just it. Surely the most obvious answer to something like this is that the goal should be "to prevent someone important from dying", right? Sooner or later, that's the sort of wish most everyone has. You're right -- given our current circumstances, it definitely can't have been that.
So, it stands to reason we ought to look back to the actual message. "Get it right this time". For the nasty thing to say something like that, it begs the question -- what exactly was done wrong, if it was never a matter of Oz surviving the day?
[The way the words come so easily, it's pretty clear that this is what Break has been brooding over here in his pit of darkblooded angst, and that he's latched onto it in much the same way Baltus latches on to whatever he happens to be systematically chewing to shreds on any given day. Fortunately, the omen seems to be restraining himself from destroying Break's shoe, which does still have his foot in it.]
cw: more talk of sacrificial suicide
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