𝙅𝙞𝙣𝙭 💣/ 𝓹𝓸𝔀𝓭𝓮𝓻 🌸 | ❝ashnikko❞ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
opheliac) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
deercountry2022-12-30 03:25 am
opheliac) wrote in deercountry2022-12-30 03:25 am
★ JAN. (CATCH ALL); i look inside myself & see my heart is black
Who: jinx & YOU
When: all of january
Where: all throughout trench
What: things that will happen with her during this month. some will be open & some will be private.
Warnings: jinx suffers from mental illness. such as the following - schizophrenia, hallucinations, PTSD, & separation anxiety. these may or may not happen in this log. BIO, PERMS, & OP-OUT: Here
►TREEHOUSE VISITATION.◄
►THE CLINK N' CLANK.◄
code credit to:thisismanx
When: all of january
Where: all throughout trench
What: things that will happen with her during this month. some will be open & some will be private.
Warnings: jinx suffers from mental illness. such as the following - schizophrenia, hallucinations, PTSD, & separation anxiety. these may or may not happen in this log. BIO, PERMS, & OP-OUT: Here
WEEK 1 (01/01 - 01/07)
█ JINX ➜ 01.01 ➜ TDM EVENT.
WEEK 2 (01/08 - 01/14)
█ VI & MANABU ➜ 01.08 ➜ PRIVATE.
WEEK 3 (01/15 - 01/21)
N/A
WEEK 4 (01/22 - 01/28)
N/A
WEEK 5 (01/29 & 01/31)
N/A
code credit to:
thisismanx
no subject
[ She's had trouble saying the word directly. Chizuru knows that she's got to do it here now, and it sure sounds like Jinx doesn't mind, since she's tackling the idea of organs regrowing even better than some of the people who had helped her get out of the sleeper farm in the first place, but..
It's still hard, just out of sheer habit. The longer you keep something inside, the harder it becomes to talk about, right? ]
I-- I'm alive. [ That's the easier thing to get out of the way. Chizuru pulls her head back so she can look at Jinx - which is scary, but also feels important at a moment like this - but the rest of her body is still lingering in the embrace. ] I'm just.. not human.
[ Which is way bigger deal in Chizuru's world than it is here, hence the difficulty she says it with. ]
I'm a demon.
[ That's the word. Not exactly one with great connotations, and Chizuru bites her lip after she says it, like throwing it out there is hard, despite it being an objective reality. ]
I.. truthfully, I don't know all that much about demons, or the difference between them and humans.. But I know that the only way to kill a demon is to cut off their head or stab them through the heart. We just heal from any other injury.
no subject
So you're a demon and I'm a monster. Guess we fit together more than I thought. Who knew my rabbit had fangs?
( she chuckles quietly to herself before pulling away from her; to finally look over the girl. )
If you were afraid I might look at you different or hate ya, it takes a lot to chase me away. (especially when she deals with her own demons on a daily basis. and the difference is her demons are harmful. ) — You just got hotter to me.
( because of course she needs to throw that in. but the reason being is to soothe the talk into a more casual conversation than it being tense and uncomfortable. )
no subject
.. it's a lot. Maybe this is why she's so bad at processing positive things. It immediately feels so overwhelming, and before Chizuru knows it, her throat feels tight, and the next moment her eyes start to water. ]
A-Ah, thanks..
[ Even the "hotter" thing doesn't seem to fluster her as much when she's having such a time trying to process all of this to begin with. ]
I.. um.. [ It's hard to talk, but she tries anyway, remaining close to Jinx. ] Back home, whenever other kids found out.. they always got scared and ran away. Father told me that people would kill me if they found out..
[ And while Jinx certainly isn't the first person accepting her despite knowing about this here in Trench, it's still a lot.
She sniffs. ] I-I was scared you'd hate me too..
no subject
so learning chizuru is actually a demon is... not at all unnatural for her. admitting to something like that is similar to admitting, "actually, i'm into apples not oranges.". it's such a shrug off thing for her. but she knows to chizuru it's very important -- she can see it with the way her eyes are swelling up and the tone of her voice. and this is where the overwhelming part comes in for jinx. she's not sure how to comfort her over something she personally believes is so... minor. )
( her hand is still for a moment then cups to her cheek tenderly; her thumb caressing over her skin. )
H-Hey, listen. Even if I was crazy blown away to learn this thing about ya, I've been watchin' how you are with everyone. ( that doesn't sound at all creepy.) — You're kind, sometimes a lil' too kind and you really care about people. How can I hate or run away from someone like that?
( a beat. )
'Sides...
( carefully, jinx leans in to lightly bumps her nose to hers. )
I meant it when I said you're mine and you're my girl to everyone. That's not changin' unless you want it to change.
no subject
So the way Jinx reacts? It means even more to her. It's not really like she's happily accepting the compliments here or anything, but she isn't fully dismissing them either as she listens to Jinx, staring at the other with those big eyes still filled with tears. ]
I don't want it to change. [ The girl manages to say, her voice matching her eyes - sounding like she's about to cry. A little shaky, a little thick. Even a little watery.
There's even something desperate about the way she says it. If Jinx would want to break up with her for any other reason, that'd be fine. Chizuru wants the other to be happy, after all. But if it was over this, over something Chizuru already has such a huge complex over...
She shakes her head, causing her nose to gently rub against Jinx's own with how close they are now. ]
E-Even though I'm like this, I'd like you to keep wanting me as your girl..
cw: possessive behavior i guess............... :eyes:
Then... I'm keeping you. (while those words are coming from a good place, there's a twist of possession lingering in each syllable.) — You're my girl... no matter what.
(even if at the end of this dating trial and they go their separate ways and it's not what she, her, or neither wants, jinx is making it clear now that chizuru is hers. there is an invisible mark (until she leaves one on her neck) she wears now that declares it so.
and with this, jinx will vow to protect her from any harm whether from horror happenings of trench or whoever she feels is a threat. she won't control the other -- she will be free to do whatever she wishes. however, that won't stop her from lurking in the shadows to observe.
a gentle yet skittish rabbit such as chizuru needs to be watched over when there are wolves and foxes in the meadows. of course, rabbits are not weaklings. they can be quite fierce when provoked but jinx will be there to assist or step in when the other's claws and bites can't do the job -- or when they grow weary. the braided girl plants one more kiss on chizuru's forehead, still cooing to her. )
If you wanna let it out and cry, it's okay. I'll hold ya as long as you need me to.
no subject
It's all a little too much at once. Her having to talk about her secret, and Jinx seeming to accept it so easily, without even having to think about it, without finding Chizuru strange for it in the slightest. The danger they were in before and how tense everything was, on top of it. Jinx's own secret, and the worry and sympathy Chizuru feels for the other.
And now this - the gentle words, the cooing, the touching. It's so much comfort, all for Chizuru, and she doesn't know what to do with it.
Other than to cry. The emotions become too overwhelming, and soon enough the tears actually start to spill, rolling down the girl's cheeks. She sobs, but not loudly - even in this Chizuru is quiet and polite, the sounds muffled as she moves her face after that forehead kiss to press it against Jinx's shoulder again, hiding both her sobs and tears against her.
Chizuru doesn't say anything. She probably can't, judging by how hard she's crying, all the emotion spilling out at once.
She just cries. ]
let me know when you're ready to wrap this up! i know you got a lot of tags.
I got you, rabbit.
( her voice is barely above a whisper -- those four words reserved only for her. not even the wind itself is allowed to hear or whatever ghoulish thing is lurking out in the snow or underneath them.)
You wanna crash at my place next? Or... find some cozy hot spot for a warm drink? I'd love to spend the whole day with you, if you don't have any plans.
we can probably wrap this one up with your next tag! c:
I'll come with you.
[ Sure, that can mean anything, any of the options that Jinx offered to her here.. but it's most likely that Chizuru means for that to mean that she'd like to spend some time with the other in private. Especially while Chizuru is still like this. She doesn't want to show her tears to anyone else right now and make them worried.
She'd just like for them to spend some calm and quiet time together. So she can calm down and get cozy instead. ]
No-- [ She sniffs again, and pulls back just enough so she can wipe with one of her hands at her face, trying to get rid of the tears, though the puffiness of her eyes very much betrays that she's been crying anyway. ] Nothing sounds better than that right now.
yes ma'am
a gentle kiss on the cheek, jinx hums quietly with a smooth voice: )
Okay then. Climb back on my back and we'll get outta here.